How I Pastor My Family

A buddy of mine, Dave, and I are always discussing with one another what it means to be the spiritual leader of our households. We know that, as men, we are called to do such, but all too often we feel like failures.

Why do we feel this way? We love our kids and display that. We spend time with them. We love their mom. We take them to church. All wonderful things.

We decided that often times we feel like a failure because we don’t pray with them EVERY DAY, and we don’t read the Bible with them EVERYDAY, and we don’t lead our families in a daily devotional EVERYDAY.

The question is, “Is that what it means to be a spiritual leader of my home?”

I recently read an article from Justin Hyde called “How I Pastor My Family”. It had some great tidbits on setting a nightly routine to help you lead your kids spiritually by praying, reading scripture and doing devotions with them. Really good ideas, but if you know me, and I suspect you are the same way, I am not a creature of routine. It’s when I fail routines, that it makes me feel like a failed spiritual leader.

So how do I create consistency in leading my kids spiritually without getting setting myself up for failure? Can I implement a loose routine? I think the biggest answer for me is to at least be intentional. To succeed, I must be intentional. I am too lazy, or too tired  to “just let it happen”. The answer for me will be to set up some kind of small expectations for our family. Maybe not so much as a part of a daily routine, but small goals if you will.

With that said, he are my goals for the upcoming year in leading my kids spiritually:

1. Every night that we sit down and have dinner together as a family, whether it be 7 nights in a week, or 1, we will have a small devotional time (there are GREAT books for this). Maybe just a leading question, or just a simple verse to develop conversation.
2. I will resist pushing my kids to “shutup and go to sleep” and take the time to sit with them as they go to bed each night. This is the best time for conversation with them that I can have.
3. I will end each night by praying with and for my kids. The deal is, I pray and so do each of them.
4. At least once a week, I will do something intentional so that the kids know how much I love their mother!

Alright, that’s it. 4 goals, not tied down too much to a routine, but enough routine to make sure they happen.

So, what does it look like for you? How do you accomplish being your children’s spiritual leader without setting yourself up for failure? Let’s do this together men.