New Years Resolutions for Dads

Ah, New Years, New Resolutions.
Yeah, I buy into it. Fresh year, fresh start. Let's do things right this year. Lose weight and stop sinning usually tops the lengthy laundry list of things to change.

I have found, in my now 33 years of life, that I never really succeed at even doing one of the long list of changes, so this year I have a new plan. Keep it simple. One resolution. One change. One promise.

I want this years resolution to be meaningful, simply, and doable.
My good friend, Pastor Gary Gaddini, used to tell me that as a the head of my household I should be praying for my wife and my kids, by name, more than anyone else in this world.
Unfortunately, I don't think that's true. I have a fairly intercessory mother and mother-in-law. Which, is awesome, don't get me wrong. But this year, my change is to make sure and lift my wife and kids up to God each and every day. It's not difficult. I am a Pastor for crying out loud, you'd think I'd already be doing this.

My men's group will hear about this tomorrow morning, and I will ask them to ask me each week:
Did you pray for your wife and kids each day?

Keep the resolution simple this year dads and husbands. Commit to praying with me for your own families, individually, each and every day.

The Christmas of My Youth

I was driving down the road this morning listening to some Christmas music when something dawned on me. Actually, I had made this comment to my wife last week, but the thought reoccured.

Remember how the Christmas season was when you were a kid? Every year, the grueling anticipation of Christmas morning grew with each present that was put under the tree. Every day I counted and recounted and guessed as to what each one was.  The lights on the houses and on the trees was like walking through Main Street Disneyland at night, except for the whole month of December. We would try and watch every Christmas show on TV and be gitty about them even though we had seen them all a million times. We would make our annual trip to Christmas Tree Lane, we'd decorate home made sugar cookies, oh and don't get me started about all of my Mom's Christmas candy that we ate all December long.

Christmas time as a kid is magical! 

So, then what happened? As I sat in my car, I realized... there is really nothing magical about Christmas when you are an adult.
But, is that right? Should there be some magic still? As a "mature" adult I know that Christmas is way more about celebrating Christ then presents. And the thought of getting gifts shouldn't be such a big deal. Someone asked me what I wanted for Christmas last week, and I really struggled with thinking of an answer. When I was a kid, I had a list 2 pages long on Thanksgiving to hand out to relatives. So that's good right. And when I look at all the lights on houses and instead of being amazed and wowed, I think, "man, how did they get the lights up on that steep peak?" Cause, they are just light after all, right?

Don't get me wrong. With 3 young boys, I love to see them enjoy the magic of Christmas. I guess a piece of me is jealous. I wish I could have that magic back for just one Christmas season. Woah! That sounds like the premise to a movie. Way to many movies.

Sharing Jesus with Relatives

Well, it's Thanksgiving tomorrow, which means so many wonderful things around the Henderson household. The joy fills the air with amazing food, great football games, laughter, board games... and... the added pressure of feeling like I need to find a new way to share Jesus with my non-believing extended family members.

Anyone else relate with this? During the holidays we all probably see our extended family more than the rest of the year. I've always felt like, during this time, I've needed to find a way to start up conversations about Jesus.
Because... I love my family... and I if what I believe is true... that they won't be in heaven for eternity without a saving faith in Jesus... then I must do something.

And yet, every attempt that I've had, has been met with disappointment and failure. I know, I know... I'm planting seeds. It just doesn't always feel that way.

I think of my uncle in particular, who I love dearly. He is one of my best friends. We hunt, fish, camp, golf, play fantasy sports, poker... you name it together. He was like a second father to me. I would love nothing more in this world (besides my kids) to see Him give His life to Jesus.

But we've had countless amount of conversations, and I'm running out of ideas. Perhaps, it's not my job to think of new ideas, but simply to continue to share my heart and let the Holy Spirit do His work.

Thoughts?

How I Pastor My Family

A buddy of mine, Dave, and I are always discussing with one another what it means to be the spiritual leader of our households. We know that, as men, we are called to do such, but all too often we feel like failures.

Why do we feel this way? We love our kids and display that. We spend time with them. We love their mom. We take them to church. All wonderful things.

We decided that often times we feel like a failure because we don’t pray with them EVERY DAY, and we don’t read the Bible with them EVERYDAY, and we don’t lead our families in a daily devotional EVERYDAY.

The question is, “Is that what it means to be a spiritual leader of my home?”

I recently read an article from Justin Hyde called “How I Pastor My Family”. It had some great tidbits on setting a nightly routine to help you lead your kids spiritually by praying, reading scripture and doing devotions with them. Really good ideas, but if you know me, and I suspect you are the same way, I am not a creature of routine. It’s when I fail routines, that it makes me feel like a failed spiritual leader.

So how do I create consistency in leading my kids spiritually without getting setting myself up for failure? Can I implement a loose routine? I think the biggest answer for me is to at least be intentional. To succeed, I must be intentional. I am too lazy, or too tired  to “just let it happen”. The answer for me will be to set up some kind of small expectations for our family. Maybe not so much as a part of a daily routine, but small goals if you will.

With that said, he are my goals for the upcoming year in leading my kids spiritually:

1. Every night that we sit down and have dinner together as a family, whether it be 7 nights in a week, or 1, we will have a small devotional time (there are GREAT books for this). Maybe just a leading question, or just a simple verse to develop conversation.
2. I will resist pushing my kids to “shutup and go to sleep” and take the time to sit with them as they go to bed each night. This is the best time for conversation with them that I can have.
3. I will end each night by praying with and for my kids. The deal is, I pray and so do each of them.
4. At least once a week, I will do something intentional so that the kids know how much I love their mother!

Alright, that’s it. 4 goals, not tied down too much to a routine, but enough routine to make sure they happen.

So, what does it look like for you? How do you accomplish being your children’s spiritual leader without setting yourself up for failure? Let’s do this together men.